Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
