I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
