I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
