My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
