she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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