So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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