We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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