I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
