If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
