Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
