Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
