At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
