you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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