i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
