And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
