I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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