Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
