i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
