Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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