well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
