He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize