week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
