Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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