I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
