Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I understand Curling. That high.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
