I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
