Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Randomize
