In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
