Taylor Swift is so right about you.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
