4 words: hood of his car
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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