So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
