$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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