so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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