my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
