Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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