We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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