K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
