it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
