Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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