So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
