Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
