Dual....:-)
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
