the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
