I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
