if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
