Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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