you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
