I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
vagina is talking i cant
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
