Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
