they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
