From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
