Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
