i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
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