as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
