so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
