so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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