I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
