So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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