Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
