Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
