Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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