Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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