Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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